The Velvet Rocket

Christ, here we go again… It has taken me a while to recover from the last installment, but due to popular demand it seems I must respond to the requests of my dear readers and indulge all of you yet again.

So, let’s get right into it…

Ummmmm. The world’s stupidest tattoos?

I wonder what this guy’s childhood was like?

Or this guy’s?

Girls, here’s a guy you can take home to meet the parents…

Or perhaps this guy?

How about “freak” as in, “These skin burning tattoos freak me out”

Whoa, that is classy. I’ll bet Michael Jackson would have appreciated that one… Actually, who am I kidding? I’d be pumped up if a girl tattooed me on her ass. Seriously pumped up…

How about fuck the “Systsem” that taught you to spell instead?

This is a man. No, really, it is!

Man, this guy is confident.

This one stood out to me not so much because of the tattoo, but because of the crazy contortions this chick went through to get this picture…

OK, this one did make me laugh.  I wonder how it would go over in Pakistan or Iraq though?

A Van Gogh fan?

You are just begging to get into a bar fight with a tattoo like this…

That’s pretty direct, but you’ve got to respect a girl that knows what she wants.

Wow, this is even more direct. I’m sure her parents are proud of their little girl.

Maybe this is her sister? I’m sure her parents are proud of her too…

Speaking of bad tattoos, how about some of these:

Horrendous. It looks like he tried to cover up the flowery shit on his arm, but, of course, it just draws more attention to it.

Jesus Christ. It’s pretty hard to embarrass me, but I wouldn’t be seen with this guy.

See, even this guy’s friend is making fun of him.

I hope this is a joke, but I fear that it is not:

Zero self-esteem. And one horrible fucking tattoo.

Gives new meaning to the phrase “A hurricane triggered by a butterfly’s wings”…

I predict the owner of this tattoo grew up in a trailer park in rural Georgia and was a teenager when he had this done. Probably even thought it was cool at the time…

I sure hope this is a memorial tattoo for the girl in the picture and that she isn’t alive to see this.

This one isn’t necessarily bad in the way the tattoos above are bad, but I would think it is certainly a bad idea – especially if the gentleman pictured ever goes to prison where he would immediately become the most “popular” inmate…

Let’s get away from the mistakes for a minute… Check out these vintage tattoos:

Considering the standards and technology of the time, I think they are fairly decent.

And given the standards and technology of our time, I thought these were pretty decent:

I must have a thing for flora and fauna today, huh?

OK, so how about dragons instead? I thought these were good as well:

And, of course, no post about good tattoos would be complete without a nod to the Yakuza:

Well, all harmony must come to an end. So, check out some of these body modifications:

Oh, and, yes, I am aware that these are not tattoos, but who cares?

Had enough? If not, check out…

Tattoo Madness – Part 1

Tattoo Madness – Part 2

and

Tattoo Madness Part 4: The Shock and Awe Edition