Written: November 2007
Occurred: July 2004
I don’t know about the rest of you, but facial hair gets uncomfortable to me after a while and so I feel compelled to periodically shave it all off and start over again. During one of these shaving moments, I decided to leave myself with a mustache (looking very much like the picture above). As I predicted, it looked awful, but I decided to leave it until my (now ex) chick got home. When she got home from work, I acted completely pumped up about it and announced my intention to keep it. At first, my mustache was met was disbelief, but I ultimately convinced her that I was sincere in my enthusiasm. At that point she suddenly burst into tears and walked out of the room. She retreated to the living room couch, where she buried her face in the arm of the sofa and sobbed. Well, I thought it was pretty damn funny that I had done such a good job of persuading her of my sincerity, but I also felt bad for making her cry. So, I explained that I was not sincere and was just fucking with her. At that point she got pissed off at me, but explained that she was upset because she didn’t want to go out with someone that looked so bad. She wanted a “normal” boyfriend – not one that looked “ridiculous” as she put it.
Below you can see a picture of me without the handlebar component of the “molestache”, but still with the ability to make girls uncomfortable…