I imagine many of my dear readers have seen or at least heard of the MTV reality show “Life of Ryan” following the life of skater Ryan Sheckler. I stumbled across an episode yesterday and after watching the duration of the episode, could not help but be struck by how boring Ryan’s life is. During the episode I watched, Ryan had an angst-filled, melodramatic conversation with his father on the Santa Monica pier over Ryan’s discomfort with his father dating other women following his parent’s divorce (No, Ryan was not sniffing coke off of the railings of the pier or giving the finger to Johnny Law – He was giving his dad a hard time over a completely trivial matter). This issue might be a big deal to Ryan (although I think he acted like a girl in junior high that takes herself too seriously), but it is hardly compelling stuff for the rest of us. Then the show cut to Ryan hanging out in a hotel room pining away over some girl (No, he was not out partying and hooking up with random chicks – He was just sitting in his hotel room). Lastly, the episode featured Ryan performing poorly in a skating match and being disappointed at his performance (No, he did not smash his board on the ground, unleash a torrent of obscenities or go out and get belligerently drunk to cope with his loss – He simply whined about his shitty performance and blamed his issues with his father on his poor results). Come on, dude…

The whole time I was watching this guy’s boring life, I was thinking, “Man, my life is way more interesting and awesome than this guy’s life. Why isn’t there a reality show about me?” I know what audiences want – wild excess, humor, plenty of hot chicks, reckless behavior, sex, speed, exotic locales… My life can deliver all of that and more. And I can promise you that if I had a camera crew following me around that I would feel compelled to keep the fans happy and would therefore abandon all caution and prudence and make sure my life was completely over the top 24/7. Give me a call MTV… I’ll work more cheaply than Ryan and I’m more awesome.

Oh, and for the inevitable critics that will say, “What are you doing watching a show about someone else? Why weren’t you out being awesome?” – Please refer to the pictures in the post below… I am still recovering from my most recent bout of awesomeness. What did you do on Monday, Sheckler?