Iraq

Insurgents in Iraq



Russian Soldiers

Burlington Northern Santa Fe

And the Southern Pacific Daylight

Iraq

Insurgents in Iraq



Russian Soldiers

Burlington Northern Santa Fe

And the Southern Pacific Daylight

→ Leave a CommentCategories: Art
Tagged: Photos Of The Day

In news reports about skirmishes or operations by coalition forces in Iraq, we often hear of insurgents being killed. To illustrate what I am referring to, here are two examples from recent articles:
“Coalition forces backed by a helicopter and jets attacked a safe house being used by suspected foreign insurgents in Iraq, killing 12 militants and a woman, the US military said today.”
or
“Upon arrival, coalition forces took direct fire and fought back with the support of coalition helicopters and jets, killing five male militants outside a safe house, including one armed with a shoulder-fired rocket, the US military statement said.”
A few insurgents here and a few insurgents there on a daily basis starts to add up. This led me to wonder, approximately, how many insurgents have been killed over in Iraq?

The first hint of data came in 2005 when Senator Carl M. Levin (Michigan), said General George W. Casey Jr., head of the Multinational Force Iraq, reported during a closed hearing that the coalition forces killed or captured 15,000 suspected insurgents in 2004. Now, a breakdown of how many were killed versus how many were captured was not offered, but it does at least give us a crude idea of the numbers involved.
In early 2007, an al Qaeda affiliate allegedly released an estimate that 4,000 foreign fighters had been killed in Iraq. Since they were referring to their own numbers can this serve as a base reference point? As the number of foreign fighters in the insurgent ranks has been estimated at between 10 and up to 20%, this implies a possible 20,000 to 40,000 total number of insurgents killed.
Then, in late 2007, the U.S. Military under pressure from multiple USA Today Freedom of Information Act requests released statistics on militants killed since the insurgency began after Baghdad fell in early 2003 (the numbers do not include enemy personnel killed during the initial invasion). The U.S. Military’s number of insurgents killed? 19,429 (Remember this is as of late 2007 – no additional data has been released since that time).
The statistics were retrieved from a coalition database that tracks “significant acts.” Militants are identified in the database because they are linked to “hostile action,” according to Capt. Michael Greenberger, a Freedom of Information Act officer in Baghdad. Obviously, as with the al Qaeda numbers above, there is no way to independently verify the data.
“The information in the database is only as good as the information entered into it by operators on the ground at the time,” Greenberger said. “Follow-up information to make corrections is done whenever possible.”
As an interesting “oh by the way”, the deadliest month for insurgents was August of 2004 when thousands of militia fighters loyal to Shiite cleric Muqtada al-Sadr clashed with American forces in Najaf in southern Iraq. That month, 1,623 militants were killed.

The most recent data (2009) was offered by researcher Deborah White after compiling data from The Brookings Institution and other think tanks. Her rough estimate? 55,000 insurgents killed in Iraq.
To put things in perspective though, Paul Smyth, Head of the Operational Studies Programme at the Royal United Services Institute (RUSI) weighs in on the difficulty of coming up with accurate numbers. He points out, simply, that the task of tracking casualties in a complex insurgency which is taking place across a large country is made almost impossible by the simultaneous execution of an international terrorist campaign, sectarian conflict and violent criminal activity.
To be more specific, in assessing how many insurgents have been killed, coalition forces must rely on the number of bodies recovered after engagements, estimates by its own forces and reports from captured insurgents. Each is unreliable or an incomplete source of information, for not all enemy corpses may be recovered from battle (especially those from destroyed buildings or in areas under insurgent control), friendly estimates made in the heat of battle are understandably open to confusion and subjective influence, and few prisoners will have access to more than local or anecdotal information. Not least is the difficulty of confirming whether dead Iraqis were insurgents, victims of sectarian killings or innocent civilians caught up in the fighting.
The cataloguing of insurgent casualties is also complicated by the transient commitment of those involved. For example, is a teenager who accepts $50 to fire an AK-47 at a passing military convoy really an insurgent or an unemployed delinquent who needs money (and ‘street cred’)?
The validity of the figures is difficult to judge beyond the certainty that they will not be accurate.

My take? I think, taking the data above into account, as well as some additional thoughts I will offer below, that the number is, indeed, probably above 50,000.
How do I arrive at that number? Well, I follow the trend line of the numbers above (including the post-Sunni Awakening decrease in violence which is not represented above) and then take the following issues into account: First of all, I want to know the TOTAL number of insurgents killed, not just those killed by coalition forces. Therefore, I am including in my estimate the number of insurgents killed by other insurgents in territorial or ideological clashes, the number of suicide bombers (a relatively easy number since the individual is obviously killed and attracts a lot of attention in the process) which stands at 1,772 through 2009 as well as the Sunni insurgents killed by fellow Sunnis (the Sons of Iraq) during the so-called Sunni Awakening and, lastly, the number of insurgents killed by private security contractors. None of these numbers show up on the U.S. Military estimates and so my number is higher than that produced by the U.S. Military because I am trying to include all insurgents killed and not just those killed by coalition forces.
You see, my thinking is that a dead fanatic is a dead fanatic and is, therefore, one less to worry about because fanatics of any kind are dangerous. The fact that they are dead is what is relevant to me, not how they were killed.
Is there a reason there is not more data on this subject out there? Or am I just morbid?
→ Leave a CommentCategories: Politics
Tagged: how many insurgets killed in Iraq?, insurgent numbers in Iraq, insurgents in Iraq, insurgents killed in Iraq, militants in iraq, militants killed in iraq, number of militants killed in iraq, the number of insurgents killed in iraq

When I was still in school – either high school or an undergraduate in college, I can’t remember which and it doesn’t matter – my classmates and I watched a documentary on the 1994 Rwandan genocide. Although I remember nothing about the setting or the rest of the documentary, one segment of the film was forever imprinted on my mind and I still think of it often.
The segment came from a camera crew following a small contingent of Belgian U.N. soldiers peacekeepers overseeing a small camp at Dom Bosco School. When the killing in Rwanda started in earnest on April 7th, approximately 2,000 Tutsis fled to the school, believing that the Belgians would protect them from the Hutu militias rampaging through the countryside, massacring anyone even remotely suspected of being Tutsi or a moderate Hutu.
And then, suddenly, the Belgians were packing up and leaving. Pulling out. Why? Ten Belgian peacekeepers protecting the Prime Minister had been murdered (along with the Prime Minister) by Hutu extremists. This was enough for the government of Belgium and they pulled out of the UNAMIR peacekeeping mission (UNAMIR is an acronym for United Nations Assistance Mission For Rwanda).
The Tutsis were horrified.
One scene in particular stands out:
A woman in a business suit, flanked by other Tutsis is begging the Belgians not to abandon them. In the background Hutu thugs can be seen drinking beer and taunting the Tutsis, chanting “Hutu Power”, clashing their machetes together and even calling out to specific women they say they will rape and kill as soon as the Belgians are out of the way.
Seeing the determination of the Belgians to leave, the refugees make a remarkable request of them. They say, “If you have to leave, please, we ask you to be shot down by your machine gun.” Sooner a United Nations bullet than a machete… The Belgians ignore the request.
The refugees panic as the U.N. vehicles start to pull away, and they crowd around the last of the departing trucks, running in front of it to try and prevent the Belgians from leaving.
A girl is hanging on to a UNAMIR truck and asking the soldier, “Are you really abandoning us? We’ll all be killed. Why are you leaving?”
A Belgian soldier fires his rifle in the air to open a path for the vehicles (As the documentary later revealed, that was the first and only time the soldier fired his weapon in Rwanda).
And then, indeed, the last of the Belgians is gone – in a swirl of dust and diesel exhaust, abandoning the 2,000 Tutsis and condemning them to a horrible death.
Some time later – several hours or even a day – the camera crew returns to the scene. It is completely silent. Everyone is dead, including hundreds of children. The woman seen before in the business suit is plainly visible. She is still where she was, along with those that flanked her, when she was pleading with the Belgians. All of those around her were tortured before being killed. Many had their arms and legs cut off before being put out of their misery.
The women across the camp, young and old alike, had been gang raped before being murdered. And frequently the rapes included the use of objects such as sticks or weapons, as well as the cutting off of breasts or buttocks.
In other words, the Hutus behaved as fucking savages.
Perhaps needless to say, that seeming act of betrayal and indifference by the Belgians left a strong impression on me. And I always wondered how that event came about. Who made that decision? Who gave that order?
Now I know…
Homage To A Broken Man:
Lieutenant General Romeo Dallaire (Canadian) served as force commander of the United Nations Assistance Mission for Rwanda from July 1993 to September 1994. When Lt-Gen. Dallaire received the call to serve as force commander of the UN intervention in Rwanda in 1993, he thought he was heading off on a modest and straightforward peacekeeping mission. Thirteen months later he flew home from Africa, broken, disillusioned and suicidal, having witnessed the slaughter of 1,000,000 Rwandans in only a hundred days.
He was ignored, one could even say betrayed, by the United Nations (and the Western powers specifically) when he desperately warned them of the impending massacre of a million Hutus and Tutsis that he was supposed to protect with totally inadequate resources. This warning was dismissed and was soon followed by the eruption of the feared massacre of a million people.
It is now widely accepted that if Dallaire’s plea for reinforcements had been answered at that critical moment, hundreds of thousands of people might have lived. Later on, various individuals and groups, including the Belgian government, attempted to pin the blame on him personally for the deaths of the troops involved. He has since been completely exonerated, but was put through bureaucratic hell, to match the physical hell he had witnessed.
Lieutenant General Romeo Dallaire announced that he was taking early retirement, because he could not cope with his memories, the piles of bodies, and the rest — “hearing people die at the end of the phone because I could not send troops in to rescue them. There are many days in the past, less so now, when I wish I had died there too”. He has been tormented with a sense of personal guilt and horror ever since he returned from Rwanda, even reportedly attempting suicide.
In an effort to come to terms with what happened and to record for history his experiences, he wrote an eyewitness account of the Rwandan genocide, entitled Shake Hands With The Devil. I just finished reading the book and the following passage leapt out at me with the answers to the questions above that had been nagging me ever since I first saw that documentary so long ago:
“April 11th
The odor of death in the hot sun; the flies, maggots, rats and dogs that swarmed to feast on the dead. At times it seemed the smell had entered my skin. My Christian beliefs had been the moral framework that had guided me throughout my adult life. Where was God in all this horror? Where was God in the world’s response?
Two thousand Rwandans had lost their lives that day as a direct result of the Belgian withdrawal. They had taken refuge after April 7th at the Belgian camp set up at the Dom Bosco School, joined by a few expatriates. That morning, French troops had come to the school to evacuate the foreigners, and after they left, the company commander, Captain Lemaire, called Lieutenant Colonel Dewez, his CO, to request permission for his company to consolidate at the airport. He didn’t mention the 2,000 Rwandans his troops were protecting at the school. When Dewez approved the move and the troops pulled out, the Interahamwe moved in, killing all of the Rwandans.”
[Eds. note - the Interahamwe were an extremist Hutu militia]
Captain Luc Lemaire… Of course, Captain Luc Lemaire claims that he was only following orders from above.
Postscript: It was discovered after the genocide and consequent civil war that the Hutus had intentionally targeted the Belgians, accurately predicting that they would flee the country as soon as they took any casualties. The Belgians were the only United Nations military force the Hutu extremists were concerned about and they wanted them out of the way. They achieved their goal.
→ 1 CommentCategories: Politics
Tagged: Captain Luc Lemaire, Dom Bosco School, Lt. Gen. Romeo Dallaire, Rwandan genocide, Shake Hands With The Devil
While working on the previous segment in the Tattoo Madness series, I realized that it would be unfair not to warn my dear readers who enjoy The Velvet Rocket at work of a post that could possibly cause them to run afoul of their company’s internet usage monitoring service. Hence, a separate post is created below to display some of the more shocking material I have discovered. Of course, there is some tamer content mixed in as well in the interest of providing some diversity.
Let’s ease into this…
Some people pay to have varicose veins removed. This guy took the opposite approach.

Ummm… Interesting?

Check out the tattoos below that these chicks got after they were fully pregnant. What will the tattoos look like after they give birth? Horrible, would be my guess.


Imagine if this tattoo were on a chick that got pregnant! That would be some spooky-looking shit.

It would be great to have this chick standing next to you the next time you were stuck in a line. You could just stare at her leg for a while.

Check out this butt tattoo. Do you like the twin penises arcing out?

I’m afraid that is not the last word in ass tattoos though. It gets worse. Check this shit out!


It gets even worse though. Much worse. You’ve been warned.

I still shudder every time I see that.
While you’re contemplating the pictures above, perhaps you could explain this tattoo to me?

Or this bacon tattoo?

Now the one below I certainly understand the appeal of. Goats are awesome.

And while I wouldn’t necessarily get these tattoos, I can at least appreciate their beauty, creativity or the talent required to produce them:






I love this one.



I’m afraid I couldn’t quite muster the same level of appreciation for these:
What the fuck is this and why would you place it permanently on your body?



And while I can identify these, I can’t quite see the appeal of permanent placement on one’s body:



And these just turn my stomach – the flesh removal tattoos:


I mean, look at this fucking process!

These are the chunks of flesh carved out of her body.

The end result is below. Not worth it to me…

These burned skin tattoos disturb me as well:



This didn’t disgust me as those above did and the tattoo actually looks pretty cool, but the process looks pretty brutal, doesn’t it?

And speaking of brutal, check out this body modification and tattoo mix:

These tattoos at least made me laugh:






The true NASCAR tattoo.

Remember 2 Girls 1 Cup?


Well, as long as we’re on the subject of penises, check this out:

Not to be outdone, the girls certainly get in on the act in a big way as well:



I thought this fallopian tube tattoo was, ummm, interesting.

Get ready for this next set:



Of course, people voluntarily do this to themselves, so whatever the fuck…






Be sure to read what is written on his eyelids:

As always, I’ll try to end on a positive note:



If you liked this, check out:
as well as Tattoo Madness – Part 3
→ 4 CommentsCategories: Art
Tagged: Amazing Tattoos, Bad Tattoos, Crazy Tattoos, Disturbing Tattoos, Flesh Removal Tattoos, shocking tattoos, Sick Tattoos, Skin Burn Tattoos, Tattoo Ideas, Tattoo Madness, Tattoos, ugly tattoos, weird tattoos
Christ, here we go again… It has taken me a while to recover from the last installment, but due to popular demand it seems I must respond to the requests of my dear readers and indulge all of you yet again.
So, let’s get right into it…
Ummmmm. The world’s stupidest tattoos?

I wonder what this guy’s childhood was like?
Or this guy’s?
Girls, here’s a guy you can take home to meet the parents…
Or perhaps this guy?
How about “freak” as in, “These skin burning tattoos freak me out”

Whoa, that is classy. I’ll bet Michael Jackson would have appreciated that one… Actually, who am I kidding? I’d be pumped up if a girl tattooed me on her ass. Seriously pumped up…

How about fuck the “Systsem” that taught you to spell instead?

This is a man. No, really, it is!

Man, this guy is confident.

This one stood out to me not so much because of the tattoo, but because of the crazy contortions this chick went through to get this picture…

OK, this one did make me laugh. I wonder how it would go over in Pakistan or Iraq though?

A Van Gogh fan?

You are just begging to get into a bar fight with a tattoo like this…

That’s pretty direct, but you’ve got to respect a girl that knows what she wants.

Wow, this is even more direct. I’m sure her parents are proud of their little girl.

Maybe this is her sister? I’m sure her parents are proud of her too…

Speaking of bad tattoos, how about some of these:
Horrendous. It looks like he tried to cover up the flowery shit on his arm, but, of course, it just draws more attention to it.

Jesus Christ. It’s pretty hard to embarrass me, but I wouldn’t be seen with this guy.

See, even this guy’s friend is making fun of him.

I hope this is a joke, but I fear that it is not:

Zero self-esteem. And one horrible fucking tattoo.

Gives new meaning to the phrase “A hurricane triggered by a butterfly’s wings”…

I predict the owner of this tattoo grew up in a trailer park in rural Georgia and was a teenager when he had this done. Probably even thought it was cool at the time…

I sure hope this is a memorial tattoo for the girl in the picture and that she isn’t alive to see this.

This one isn’t necessarily bad in the way the tattoos above are bad, but I would think it is certainly a bad idea – especially if the gentleman pictured ever goes to prison where he would immediately become the most “popular” inmate…

Let’s get away from the mistakes for a minute… Check out these vintage tattoos:
Considering the standards and technology of the time, I think they are fairly decent.


And given the standards and technology of our time, I thought these were pretty decent:













I must have a thing for flora and fauna today, huh?
OK, so how about dragons instead? I thought these were good as well:





And, of course, no post about good tattoos would be complete without a nod to the Yakuza:

Well, all harmony must come to an end. So, check out some of these body modifications:
Oh, and, yes, I am aware that these are not tattoos, but who cares?






Had enough? If not, check out…
Tattoo Madness – Part 2
and
Tattoo Madness Part 4: The Shock and Awe Edition
→ 3 CommentsCategories: Art
Tagged: 3D tattoos, Arm Tattoos, Armband Tattoos, Bad Tattoos, Cartoon Tattoos, Cool Tattoos, Crazy Tattoos, funny tattoos, Hand Tattoos, Sleeve Arm Tattoos, strange tattoos, Tattoo Ideas, Tattoos, weird tattoos, world's stupidest tattoos, worst tattoos
Today we are featuring an article brought to our attention by Lindsay Fincher on the evolution of North Korean military strategy. I found the information on the training the commandos go through to be of particular interest:
North Korea Swiftly Expanding Its Special Forces
Commandos Trained in Terror Tactics In Effort to Maintain Military Threat
SEOUL — North Korea has massively increased its special operations forces, schooled them in the use of Iraqi-style roadside bombs and equipped them to sneak past the heavily fortified border that divides the two Koreas.
By expanding what was already the world’s largest special operations force, the North appears to be adding commando teeth to what, in essence, is a defensive military strategy. The cash-strapped government of Kim Jong Il, which struggles to maintain and buy fuel for its aging tanks and armor, has concluded it cannot win a conventional war, according to U.S. and South Korean military officials.
But by combining huge numbers of special forces with artillery that can devastate Seoul and missiles that can pound all of South Korea, North Korea has found an affordable way to remain terrifying, ensure regime survival and deter a preemptive strike on the nuclear bombs that make it a player on the world stage, say U.S. and South Korean military analysts.
“The North Koreans have done what they had to do to make sure their military is still a credible threat,” said Bruce E. Bechtol Jr., a North Korea specialist who is a professor at the Marine Corps Command and Staff College in Quantico. “They can still inflict tens of thousands of civilian casualties in Seoul on the first day of combat.”
The havoc-raising potential of North Korea’s special forces has grown as their numbers have increased and their training has shifted to terrorist tactics developed by insurgents in Iraq and Afghanistan, according to Gen. Walter Sharp, commander of U.S. forces in Korea.
“The capability is really very large, and they will use these tactics,” Sharp told reporters recently in Washington.
In a conflict, tens of thousands of special forces members would try to infiltrate South Korea: by air in radar-evading biplanes, by ground through secret tunnels beneath the demilitarized zone (DMZ), and by sea aboard midget submarines and hovercraft, according to South Korean and U.S. military analysts.
Disguised in the uniforms of South Korean police and military personnel, special forces are also expected to try to walk into Seoul. Dressed as civilians, they may also arrive aboard passenger flights from Beijing and other foreign capitals.
“These are not your standard North Korean guys,” Bechtol said. “They are the best-trained, best-fed and most indoctrinated soldiers in the North. They know how to fight, and if they are caught, they are trained to kill themselves.”
Their primary mission, in the event of war, is to leapfrog the DMZ and create chaos among the 20.5 million residents of greater Seoul, while harassing South Korean and U.S. forces in rear areas, military and intelligence experts said.
It has been 41 years since North Korea mounted a commando raid inside South Korea, but the South has been forced to respond to an old threat turned new.
South Korea’s army is trying to improve the mobility of its trench-bound frontline infantry and has canceled plans to reduce some reserve units. It has reversed the long-planned removal of a special warfare command from southern Seoul and has begun moves to buy advanced transport planes to deliver its special forces inside North Korea.
The navy has been ordered to change its focus from patrolling the sea to defending the shoreline from commando attacks, according to Kim Jong-dae, who edits a military magazine in Seoul and who until 2007 was a policy adviser to the defense minister. The South Korean government declined to comment on the navy’s orders.
‘Profoundly Loyal’
South Korea and the United States agree that the number of North Korean special forces is rising, but they disagree on how much.
The number is now 180,000, according to the South Korean Defense Ministry. That’s a 50 percent increase since the South’s last official count three years ago. But Sharp, the U.S. commander here, puts the number at 80,000 (although that still dwarfs the special forces of any country, including the United States, which has about 51,000.)
Much of the difference appears to be a dispute over the definition of special forces. North Korea has retrained and reconfigured about 60,000 infantry troops as special forces in the past three years, South Korea says. The United States agrees that this reconfiguring has occurred, but it “does not count [retrained infantry] as special forces,” according to Maj. Todd Fleming, a spokesman for U.S. forces in Korea.
Whatever the number, there is widespread agreement that the North’s special forces are increasingly formidable. Sharp describes them as “tough, well-trained and profoundly loyal,” while being capable of illicit activities, strategic reconnaissance and attacks against civilian infrastructure and military targets across Northeast Asia.
Their low-tech, low-cost training includes throwing knives, firing poisonous darts and running up steep hills wearing backpacks filled with 60 pounds of rocks and sand, said Ha Tae-jun, a former South Korean commando who has debriefed captured members of the North’s special forces. They are also drilled in street warfare, chemical attacks, night fighting, martial arts, car theft and using spoons and forks as weapons, say South Korean government reports and military experts.
South Korean and U.S. forces in Korea have begun counterinsurgency training in the past year to respond to what are thought to be new tactics — including the use of improvised explosive devices, or roadside bombs — that North Korean special forces have adopted from the conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan. Staff officers from the Center for Army Lessons Learned at Fort Leavenworth, Kan., have come to Korea to help prepare soldiers for the new threat.
In decades past, North Korean special forces have demonstrated remarkable fighting ability and grit when cornered inside South Korea. In 1968, a 31-member team attacked Blue House, the presidential residence in Seoul. Although they failed to assassinate President Park Chung-hee, they killed 68 South Koreans over the nine days it took to track them down. Several commandos committed suicide to avoid capture, one was unaccounted for and one was taken alive.
Boots on the Ground
North Korea has repeatedly threatened to turn Seoul (located just 35 miles from the border) into “a sea of fire.” To make that possible, it has moved about 70 percent of its military units and up to 80 percent of its total firepower to within 60 miles of the DMZ, according to the Strategic Studies Institute, a research arm of the U.S. Army War College.
But the capacity of North Korea to protect and maintain that frontline armor has declined since the 1990s. Flight hours for the North’s military aircraft have plummeted for lack of fuel, as has training of mechanized ground forces.
North Korea has also begun to question the utility of the tanks and armor it can afford at the front, after seeing the ease with which U.S. precision weapons shredded Saddam Hussein’s armored forces in Iraq, according to a South Korean Defense Ministry report.
“They were really shocked watching how the Americans destroyed Iraq’s tanks,” said Kim, the military affairs editor.
What North Korea still has in extraordinary abundance are boots on the ground, thanks to universal conscription and a mandatory 10 years of military service for men, seven years for women.
“The North Koreans made a decision based on the resources they have,” said Kwon Young-hae, a former director of South Korea’s National Intelligence Service. “The best way for them to counterbalance the South’s technological advantage is with special forces. When Kim Jong Il gives pep talks to these troops, he says, ‘You are individually, one by one, like nuclear weapons.’ “
→ Leave a CommentCategories: Politics
Tagged: North Korea, North Korean Special Forces
Well, it is certainly the longest I have ever seen or heard about. This is in Kiev, Ukraine and is the way down to the city’s subway system which is very, very far underground. The escalator moves quite quickly by Western standards, but it still takes several minutes to get to the bottom.

→ 1 CommentCategories: Travel
Tagged: Eleonora Giuliani, Justin Ames, Kiev, longest escalator, Ukraine
“For better or for worse, I think that the romantic status of a 20-30-something blogger has a profound effect on their work. For some, the angst of being single fuels their muse. For others, there are simply fewer stories about doing lines off a stripper’s tits and waking up next to a dead hooker in Tijuana once that special someone enters their life.”
- BadAtLife
I woke up today in the same bed as someone else. For my regular readers, the fact that I woke up next to a woman will probably not come across as some huge revelation, or at least to the regular readers who actually believe what I blog about, it shouldn’t. But trust my word or don’t, it happened and I didn’t have to use any date-rape drugs. No, the revelatory fact in the above statement is that the woman I woke up next to is the same one I’ve woken up next to for a while now. Yeah… I know… The Velvet Rocket has gone soft (figuratively).
Uh-oh.
Below is a chart I created to try and better illustrate the danger:

I don’t mention this because I’m particularly concerned about sacrificing my past promiscuity or losing certain areas of my independence–like riding motorcycles, shooting guns or visiting war zones, or using all four pillows and the comforter to create a Justin-burrito at night while I sleep (This girl likes to get in my damn burrito!) I’m more concerned about this blog and my other writing becoming a bunch of boring, less bitchy, relationship-infused…. shit.
Okay, okay. It’s not like this is uncharted territory for me. I’ve dated a few girls during my run as a blogger. A few knew about this blog and one sort of dumped me because of it (although I gave her a few other reasons to shitcan me as well). My situation is a bit different this time though. This girl knows full-well about my blog. Almost everyone I know, knows about my blog. The stakes are higher now than when 70 people clicked on my page every day and I wrote with reckless abandon about racing the California Highway Patrol or getting blackout drunk at the Willow Glen Saloon.
What’s a blogger to do?!? Do I maintain my street cred and continue to write about blowing money on strippers in Vegas, riding my Kawasaki Ninja while still slightly drunk from the night before and other interesting, albeit, private matters? Do I scale back operations and not whisper a peep about things that I feel may hurt my non-blog life?
In an effort to help you understand my predicament, here’s a helpful guide to young men, bachelorhood, relationships, and blogging:
Young, angry, single, male blogger:
-Has edge.
- Writes about whomever and whatever he wants.
- Uses his blog to get invited to parties and to shamelessly promote himself (and to get laid).
- Drinks like Mickey Mantle in a whiskey distillery.
- Eats a Nutri-Grain bar from 7-11 on his way to score some Adderall.
- Blogs 7 times a week, with hundreds of spelling errors.
- Writes from a bar while swigging coffee, chain-smoking and occasionally taking a shot with the cute bartender.
- Doesn’t like to use condoms.
Young, a bit more cheerful, “dating someone”, male blogger:
- Edge couldn’t cut through warm butter.
- Writes in fear that his girl may see, so he tones it down and writes about some mundane crap that happened to him at work.
- Uses his blog to send thinly veiled love notes to his girl – “she likes to sleep in my damn burrito blah blah blah” (See above for an example of this).
- Drinks less.
- Eats sit down meals that include at least one vegetable.
- Only has time to blog twice a week because “it’s movie night”.
- Uses spell-check.
- Writes from his girl’s bed with iced tea at his side, while occasionally stopping to pet his girl’s little yappy dog, which is nestled in one of his thighs.
- Doesn’t like to use condoms.
Clearly you can see my concerns. Now, do I really think that my situation is that dire? No, but I concede this new ballgame will test my mettle and my willingness to push the envelope on the blog. Now if you would excuse me, the pasta is almost ready and we’re about to snuggle up and watch a few episodes of Gilmore Girls….
….upon hearing that last statement, Justin Ames from 2008 scowls as he disdainfully throws back a shot of Jack Daniels, jacks a round into his Remington 870 and clicks “confirm” on his purchase of airline tickets to Somalia – while simultaneously holding down his own vomit.
→ 1 CommentCategories: Personal
Tagged: Ian Bowman, Justin Ames
For a minimalist like me anyway… Although, I think I’d make the bed.

→ Leave a CommentCategories: Uncategorized
Tagged: Justin Ames, Minimalism