Ordinarily, I would not find the above question difficult to answer. However, during a recent visit with Brandon and Amanda, we were reviewing some pictures of me when Amanda exclaimed, “You know, if one didn’t know better, they’d swear you were a redneck.” I laughed nervously, but I was really thinking, “Fuck. That’s the third time I’ve heard that in the last month and a half. And all from people that know me well!” I realized, dear readers, that it was time for me to take an introspective journey and examine this issue in more depth.
Below is the picture that inspired Amanda’s comment (and I have to confess that she has a point):
In fairness to my accusers, I believe we should examine the evidence for my being a redneck first:
1) I am a camo aficionado (I can already imagine the eye rolls from my readers that match the stereotypical image of a liberal).
2) I grew up out in the country in the poor, rural county of Yuba.
3) I think guns are cool (Uh-oh, I’m really starting to sound like a redneck).
4) I think redneck dive bars are fun when compared to an excessively formal, uptight bar where a Vodka Tonic is $29 (I’ve definitely experienced both).
5) I love going exploring out in the woods – such as my recent trip with Ian (during which the above picture was taken) that found us concluding the evening by sitting around the campfire drinking Coors Light and smoking American Spirits (See below).
6) I enjoy off-roading (Such as the trip below – a very tame section of the road on that trip).
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I know what you’re thinking, dear readers… Case closed, right? Not so fast – let’s examine some of the evidence against:
1) I love classic French literature (Whoa, that’s a little gay…)
2) I’ve got a Bachelor’s degree and I’m pursuing a Master’s degree (Too bad it’s in a faggy major – International Relations – instead of something manly like Agricultural Science or Engineering)
3) I care about animals and the environment (Wait a minute – We might need to initiate the full homo alert here…)
4) Anytime I hear someone speaking with a Southern accent, I subconsciously deduct 30 IQ points (You got a problem with NASCAR or the South, homo?)
5) One of my best friends is gay (At this point I think I would be accused of being a full-blown homo by any redneck crowd)
The results, dear readers, I believe could be deemed inconclusive at best. You see, I don’t feel that I fit solidly in any group. During my life I have been called a “redneck”, a “jew-lover”, a “fag-lover”, a “nigger-lover”, an “elitist i-banker”, an “environmentalist” (this was meant as an insult) and undoubtedly I have been accused of countless other affiliations with groups that I just can’t recall at the moment.
The reality is that I can comfortably blend with any of the groups listed above. I have something in common with all of them. However, I have just as many traits that I do not share with the above groups. I wear many hats and sometimes I take relief in one hat to get away from another. For example, yeah, after a week hunched over a computer crunching numbers for some investment banking deal and wearing a suit to work every day, I do feel like going barreling through the woods in a 4WD, wearing camo and shooting guns. This doesn’t make me a full-time “elitist i-banker” or a “redneck”. It makes me yet another example of how very few things in life are black or white, but instead are various shades of gray. It makes me someone with a diverse set of interests rather than a caricature of some group (such as rednecks). Somehow, I’ve been fortunate enough to find a lot of friends that are the same way…
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