A man’s running his eye over a menu in a restaurant when his attractive waitress asks him what he’d fancy. “A quickie, please.” “Sir,” she says, “I’ll ask you one more time, is there anything that takes your fancy?” “Yes,” says the man again. “A quickie.” Outraged she slaps him across the face and storms back across the restaurant in a huff. “Mate,” says the guy on the next table, “it’s pronounced ‘quiche’.”