Tattoos: The Best And The Worst – Part 2

Given the popularity of the first Tattoo Madness post, I decided another one was due…

Tattoo Madness – Part 1

So, without any further introduction, here are the Tattoo Madness – Part 2 results in no particular order.

I don’t think any of us had a perfect childhood, but… Really?




bizzare tattoo

Why we don’t let our friends give us tattoos:


misspelled tattoos

Did this guy just give Papa Smurf a blowjob? Makes sense actually if you consider the male to female ratio in the Smurf community.


This tongue tattoo below is a bit better. You know, if you think about how much it hurts when you accidentally bite your tongue, think of how much getting a tongue tattoo must hurt…

gnarly tongue tattoo

And this one looks even better, but is probably Photoshopped.


A good anatomy lesson. This tattoo educates and entertains:

The coolest muscle tattoo

Here’s something else you could do with your arms:

Bridal Tattoo

Does this mean she is a moron and has nothing to say?

An eye catching tattoo

I never thought of turning the sketches I made in my notebook when I was bored in class into a tattoo, but this guy apparently did:

random drawing tattoo

Well, it’s creative…

ear tattoo of skull

Can you imagine getting ready to have sex with a girl and suddenly encountering this if you were not expecting it? Neither can I.


I have to confess that I’ve never thought of having a chili dog tattooed on me.


Nor a bloody tampon with wings…


Maybe if her skin wasn’t rippling with cellulite and wasn’t blindingly white, I could muster an appreciation for this. But, under the present circumstances, I’m afraid not.


And this chick could be attractive, if she weren’t so covered in shit.

craziest tattoo

OK, so what happens when the vampire fad dies down a bit? People will think she has scabies or smallpox or worse.

vampire tattoo

Now, I thought this was pretty damn clever. These guys concealed their hair loss, by shaving their heads and tattooing hair in:

hair tattoos

Tattooed hair.  A good hair loss strategy?

Not a shocking tattoo, but I thought it looked pretty cool.



horror tattoo

I know these aren’t tattoos, but fucking hell…




I’m struggling to understand the appeal of a series of tattoos that make it look like you got your ass kicked. So many people are willing to do the real thing for free.


Any cat lovers in the audience?


How very inviting.




Imagine, this is someone’s grandma…


God, and so is this!


I can see where he’s coming from. It always was the most fun to watch the girl fights in school.

girls fighting tattoo

I wonder how this guy would do in a job interview with this tattoo?


Probably better than this guy – one of the creepiest people I have ever seen.


So, the picture on the left is simply of this guy’s back, but if you look closely you will see that the tattoos on the right are on his eyelids and are not actually his eyes.


Rather subtle and clever.


Man, does anyone out there think this guy ever gets laid?


Just to remind you, dear readers, tattoos are permanent.


This made me think of My Little Pony differently.


The Japanese are funny, huh?


As always, I must give a nod of appreciation to the Yakuza though.


Awwwww, did someone not get enough attention from mummy and daddy?


It still amazes me that people voluntarily do this to themselves.




Well, “Mr. Cool Ice” may have given us the world’s stupidest tattoos, but this may well be the world’s worst tattoo. Seriously, a retarded three-year-old could do a better job. And has anyone else noticed the correlation between waist size and bad tattoos?


Not that there is any shortage of stupid tattoos to reflect upon.


Seriously, what was this guy thinking?


Keepin’ it real with the black widows…


Well, after so much stupidity and/or negativity, I feel compelled to end on a positive note:



For continued pleasure, be sure to check out…

Tattoo Madness – Part 1


Tattoo Madness – Part 3


Tattoo Madness Part 4: The Shock and Awe Edition

15 thoughts on “Tattoos: The Best And The Worst – Part 2

  1. Pingback: Tattoo Madness - Part 2 « The Velvet Rocket

  2. Pingback: Tattoo Madness - Part 1 « The Velvet Rocket

  3. First of all, I am that guy that you are making fun of, with the split blue tongue. Btw, that comment is really original. Wow, I’m impressed, what great site.

  4. Pingback: Tattoo Madness – Part 3 « The Velvet Rocket

  5. I wonder how many of these “body-art” devotees, who have rendered themselves essentially unemployabl,e are living off the largess of the dole (aka: “other folks’ money”) and enjoy the benefits of free health care to treat the the complications of the extraneous openings in their bodies?

  6. Pingback: Tattoo Madness – Part 4: The Shock and Awe Edition « The Velvet Rocket

  7. I got tattoos and i love them. Anywho… sometimes i`m drunk and not let in the door to my local waterhole. Maybe some of these people should be rejected at the door to the tattoo joint?? Good night from Norway!

  8. Of course you’ve never thought about getting a chilidog tattooed on yourself, that would be silly. However, considering that I’m a chef and I go by the nick-name “Capt. ChiliDog” it makes perfect sense. Or should I have gotten really creative and personal like design number J-7 from the tattoo catalogue?

  9. Hahaha this sucks ass, it’s pretty obvious that the creator of this blog is a judgmental asshole which needs attention from strangers on the internet. After reading a lot of bodymodification-blogs this one is by far the worst. It’s clear to me that you can’t be objective about somebody else’s lifestyle and therefore decisions, so I should consider taking your blog down and start looking in the mirror.

    • Hmmm. Well, to start with, this is not a body modification blog. So, I’m not too worried about my standing on that front. But “the worst” one? That sounds like a subjective opinion, really. I guess being judgmental and lacking objectivity is fine as long as you agree with what is being said though?

      At least I can be objective about the fact that I am a judgmental asshole. And to correct the record, I could not care less about someone’s lifestyle as long as it does not negatively impact mine or others.

      However, that does not mean that I will not be entertained by the poor lifestyle decisions made by others – just as I am entertained by your poorly composed, child-like rant in which you aptly demonstrate that you are someone that takes themselves way too seriously.

      And just as I am further entertained by your conception that you are somehow unique in what you view as your trendy rebellion against mainstream society’s ways and mores. The reason this is amusing to me is that through your actions you show yourself to be the definition of mediocrity and of the mainstream as you mutilate yourself in lockstep with the rest of the sheep that think they are progressive and enlightened when, in fact, they are simply insecure and unhappy with themselves and their lives. Why don’t you do something that really is rebellious or edgy? I can give you some suggestions if you like. In reality though, I wouldn’t want things to change too much – girls like you are really easy lays…

      How’s that for judgmental assholery? Like I said, at least I am self-aware.



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