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Big Trouble in the Little Nursing Home

My grandfather (Fritz) and grandmother (Irene) presently reside in a nursing home named the Sterling Inn which is located in the High Desert region of Southern California. This story took place very recently while my grandmother and grandfather were eating their lunch in the communal dining facility at the nursing home. Also present at the lunch table were some of the other female residents (Fritz does like the ladies) in the nursing home. Inexplicably, in the middle of the meal, my grandfather began disrobing.

Apparently, one of the women across the table threw up her hands and cried, “No, no. Stop!” At this point my grandmother looked over and saw what he was doing and also told him to stop. He ignored them both and continued working on the buttons. More insistently this time, Irene insisted that he stop. Fritz looked over at her and with contempt dripping from his voice announced to her and the table, “I’ll do whatever I want, when I want.”

Words to live by, Grandpa!

This event just happened to coincide with the week in which it was discovered that my grandfather had smuggled a loaded .38 revolver and a large quantity of porn into the nursing home. May we all be so awesome at 90…

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